Top 10 Lists

Top 10 Worst Ways to Get Caught Fornicating

May 29, 2009

1. While you’re testing out your new sex swing with your partner, your parents decide it’s time to pop in for a visit, without calling or knocking first.
2. At 5 a.m., while you’re drunk and having sex on your neighbor’s brand-new lawn furniture.
3. When you and a co-worker are bored working the graveyard shift, you start having sex and your boss walks in, finding your bare ass perched on the food prep counter.
4. Having sex in the garage, when your partner’s father decides to come home early from work and discovers you doing it doggy-style on his prized workstation, between the toolbox and his collection of Bob Vila instructional videos.
5. At a family reunion, you decide to escape your crazy relatives by dragging your beau to get frisky.  You’re in the throes of ecstasy when your little cousin, lost from playing hide and seek, pops out of the closet, sees you, screams, and runs downstairs to tell everyone what he saw.
6. Hiking on an abandoned trail with your partner, you start to get vertical against a tree when a group of Boy Scouts, looking to make camp, catch you looking like a deer caught in headlights.
7.  In the “abandoned” basement annex at the library, when your professor finds you doing naked interpretive dance with his teaching assistant, on the eve before the exam.
8. After your apartment elevator gets stuck, and you start having sex with your hot neighbor, and the fire department starts pulling apart the doors.
9. In the back of a darkened movie theater, when the action flick goes dead silent, and all anyone can hear is “I’m going to come, you dirty boy!”
10. By the cops, who suddenly catch you at night in the park, dangling from the monkey bars with your pants around your ankles and your partner’s mouth attached to your genitalia, their flashlights beaming on your privates for what seems like eternity.

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