Welcome back, Lexual folks!
Due to popular demand, this week’s Top 10 includes women’s responses to last week’s Top 10 Crude Pick-Up Lines. Enjoy & thanks for your suggestions! Read it here, or on my website!
10. Hey baby, I think you just made my two-by-four into a four-by-eight.
Perfect, I’ll have something bigger to feed to my termites.
9. I have a dictionary in my pants. Come back to my place and put some words in your mouth.
Well I have a thesaurus. You should look up synonyms for “insubstantial” and “emasculation”.
8. I’m hung like a Tic Tac. Want to freshen your breath?
Smells like you could use one. Why not try blowing yourself?
7. Want to come over for dinner? You can butter my corn.
I’m too hot, your corn would pop faster than you can say Orville Redenbacher.
6. Want to wrestle my purple-headed warrior? If you can get him to stay down, you win.
I’ll enjoy my triumph when my knee makes your warrior turn black and blue.
5. I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I sent my last boyfriend to the hospital. Want to test me?
4. Why don’t you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?
For you, I’d only need to smile like a Cheerio.
3. (At the office copy machine) “Reproducing, eh? Can I help?”
(looking him up and down) “Don’t think so. I’d rather do it myself.”
2. Want to play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me.
Great, I have a few spare hand grenades in my purse. The only place you’ll be lying is in a body bag.
1. Why don’t you and I go back to my warehouse and you can help me liquidate my inventory.
I don’t touch damaged goods.
Have a great weekend! Check back Sunday for your Position of the Week!