10. A tacky, bright red and green knitted sweater with a huge Santa Claus on the front from Grandma.
9. A cookbook of HER recipes because she insists her son prefers her cooking…
8. Baby booties and a little matching outfit, and you’re not even engaged yet!
7. An industrial box of condoms, “because accidents happen”, her parents say, glancing wistfully at your girlfriend.
6. A framed picture of your mother-in-law and you that says “Best Friends Forever!” that she wants you to keep on the mantle.
5. Cosmetics whose special serum is formulated “for mature skin”, written in bold print, and you don’t turn 30 for another few years…
4. A book titled “Abstinence and You”, dated 1954, with the words “New York Public Library” stamped on it.
3. A set of sensual massage oils, and the Kama Sutra, from a very kooky aunt.
2. A membership to the local gym. Hmmph.
1. A dildo from his Mom… making you wonder if she’s trying to tell you to go fuck yourself.
See you Sunday for this year’s last sex position!