Have some fun this weekend at everyone else’s expense by scandalizing the patrons and wait staff at your favorite restaurant!
10. Feed each other, making drawn-out moaning sounds after sliding the food off your fork.
9. When your server gives you the day’s specials, ask him/her in an obnoxious voice, “is that an aphrodisiac?” for each item.
8. Drip some water (or wine) down your date’s neck and lick it off slowly.
7. Ask your waitress if she’d like to be the third in your ménage à trois.
6. When it comes time to pay the bill, slip the cash into your waitress’s shirt, or into the waistband of your waiter’s pants like you’re at a strip club.
5. Get someone to take a picture of you and your date, then make out with full tongues and groping while you wait for the flash.
4. Grab one of the long candlesticks from the table and stare at your man while dramatically pretending to blow it and jerk it off.
3. Describe, loudly and with gratuitous detail, the porn you watched just that morning, involving two women, a clown and a gerbil.
2. Slip beneath the table and go down on your partner while they give the server your order.
1. Leave your panties as tip.
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This blog “Top 10 Dirty Things to do at a Restaurant” was originally published and copyrighted by Lexi Sylver on November 6, 2009. All rights reserved.