Go from 100 to O with these mood-killing lines.
10. You make me wish I was still a man.
9. This reminds me of the sex I had in prison.
8. While you’re down there, can you take out my tampon?
7. Can I pay you with coupons?
6. On second thought, maybe you should put your bra back on.
5. Uhm… I’m pretty sure your hamster is dead.
4. There’s a clown outfit in the closet that would look super sexy on you.
3. I don’t mind your small penis! It’s…cute.
2. I have a great homemade snuff film I want to show you – it really gets me in the mood.
1. Why is the light for your webcam on?
Click here to read more of my Top 10 Lists… because we all need an excuse to procrastinate.
Stay tuned for more sexy humor & of course, my erotic short stories!
Featured photo copyrighted by Cosmopolitan magazine