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Wednesday, 27th March, 2019

Position of the Week: The G-Whiz! Grappler

Enjoy!  Also available on my website.

What it is: a surefire way for him to stimulate both your G-spot and your clitoris while he gets a nice, tight squeeze.

How to do it: Lie on your side while he kneels behind your butt, pushing one of his knees between your thighs while aligning his pelvis to penetrate you, while leaning forward slightly over you.  While he thrusts, he’ll place a hand on your back for leverage.  All you have to do is lie there and relax as the friction stimulates both of your hot spots simultaneously with each thrust.

Why it’s hot: He can watch you moan with pleasure from his position above you, and alternate his speed .  He can also fondle your breasts with his free hand.  Plus, since one of his legs is between yours, there is constant contact with each other, which makes it intimate, but the angle is tight for him while rubbing against your G-spot and clit.  Everybody wins!

How to kink it up: If she’s game for a little light bondage, you can tie her arms up against the bedpost above her head.  Since you’re taking control in this position, you can bring it up to the next level while you please her.  Handcuffs aren’t necessary, but you can use an old scarf or tie to ease the transition if she’s feeling ambivalent about it.  Or prop up a mirror at an angle where both of you are able to watch the action (unless you happen to have a camera handy… just make sure you properly label and hide the videos later).

Have a sexy weekend!  See you Wednesday for my latest short story.


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Position of the Week: The Tawdry Tarantula

Enjoy!  Also available on

What it is: A tantric and voyeuristic face-to-face bump and grind that slowly builds up your bliss while giving you an eyeful.

How to do it:  Sit down facing each other with your legs spread and pelvises aligned.  Drape one bent leg over his thigh on one side, while letting him drape one of his legs over the opposite thigh.  (You each have one leg under and one leg on top of  each other’s opposite sides so you are interlocking.)  Your weight will be resting on your palms in back of you, and on your feet in back of your partner as you slowly slide your hips together.  Basically you are in a outward V position where the crux consists of your hips moving together.  (n.b. The “Tarantula” part refers to the collective configuration of your eight limbs…)

Why it’s hot: Not only are you able to watch each other’s ecstatic expressions AND the joining of your loins, the slow tempo of your bump and grind is both sultry and tantric… a great way to gradually build up each other’s pleasure.  You can also come in closer and rock your hips while wrapping your arms around each other to increase your intimacy.

How to kink it up:
For her: Since your legs are already intertwined, you can sling the leg that’s on top of his over his shoulder instead, allowing for deeper and closer stimulation.

For him: Slowly rub her nipples and clit while moving together.  You can also lift her hips slightly above yours so that you can push into her from below.  You can also alternate between man-on-top with your legs still intertwined, and then bringing her back up again into a sitting up position.

Have a sexy evening, and see you Wednesday for your fill of my latest erotic short.
Don’t forget to check out my website, if you haven’t already.

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Top 10 Things You Don’t Want To Hear The Morning After…

Today’s Top 10 also available on my new site,

Special thanks to R. A. and M. M. for this one!

10. “I think the condom slipped off last night… because it’s stuck to the side of your face.”

9. “Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my apartment?”

8. “My husband should be here any minute.”

7. “Listen… if the cops come here asking about me, pretend I never existed, ok?”

6. “Don’t leave me!  I love you!  If I can’t have you, nobody else can!”

5. “You’re my… hundred and sixteenth.  Well who are you to judge me?  You’ve probably taken more turns than the town doorknob.”

4. “I took the liberty of cleaning out one of your drawers to put in some of my things.”

3.  “Has this webcam been on the WHOLE TIME?!?!”

2. “Uhm… Ryan?  Why is my Uncle Ted in your family photo?”

1. “I’ve had better.”

Have a sexy weekend, and see you all Sunday for the Position of the Week!
Don’t forget to check out my new site,!


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Top 10 Most common sex injuries/medical cases

Welcome back everyone!  Enjoy, and see you Sun with the position of the week.

Top 10 Most Common Sex-Related Injuries/Medical Cases

10. Rashus Vaginus: A burning, itching sensation of the nether region, typically caused by the continuous friction of mesh or nylon panties given to you by your partner.  Although mild, this can be extremely uncomfortable and publicly noticeable as you find ways to sit/stand/hold a conversation without scratching the hell out of your genitals.

9. Groin Strain: Typically occurs when attempting #s 57, 58 and 97 of the Kama Sutra without stretching first.  Results in a hobbled walk for up to two weeks and an inability to have sex in any position other than the starfish.

8. 3rd Degree Rug Burns: Most frequently appear on elbows, knees, chin and derrière.  Can lead to noticeable sandpaper-like chafe marks, embarrassment and in severe backside cases, the impossibility of sitting down for more than five seconds.

7. Neck spasm: Caused by giving intense oral sex for extensive periods of time, during which the neck seizes up and cannot be moved.   Side effects include looking a bit like Frankenstein and being able to turn your head only when turning the rest of your body.  Cured with rest in three days and your friends’ laughter.

6. Loss of circulation in the wrist : Most frequently occurs in bondage situations where one’s hands are tied above the head for excessive periods of time (also known as being left hanging).  Aside from the short-term despair at being left alone and naked and unable to pleasure yourself, effects include telltale bondage marks on the wrists and mild blueness of the fingers.

5. The Brazilian Backbreaker: While trying to contort yourself in an enthusiastic attempt to show your partner you’re flexible, your back gets stuck in an inverse-U position.  Symptoms typically last several days and are alleviated by two anti-stupidity pills every four hours.

4. Black and blue balls: Due to the accidental yet forceful squishing of the testicles by a knee, fist or stiletto heel.  Causes excruciating pain and a non-sexy cowboy walk.  Rest for 1-2 weeks with frozen peas on your package and a bottle of JD in your hand.

3. Prince Albert, meet my tongue: Piercings are all  fun and games… until someone’s tongue ring accidentally gets stuck on to his Prince Albert during a hot BJ.  Your humiliation is off the charts when picked up by amused EMTs in an ambulance, and the pain and swelling makes you think twice before putting your mouth on a penis with metal protruding from it… or letting someone blow you with a barbell through her tongue.

2. The self-imposed knockout: Caution: headboards are stronger than they may appear!  Don’t think your head is hard enough not to get cracked open when you over-eagerly misjudge your own strength (or hers, if she’s on top) and slam into it with excessive force.  When you awake from your concussion, remove the headboard immediately, and make sure to avoid collisions with hard surfaces.

1.  Penile Fracture: Snap!  If you hear this sound during sex, call 911.  Most often, this is caused by an overzealous partner who misses his aim (e.g. while doing the pile-driver) or by having her come down too hard while riding you.  Can lead to not being able to use, touch, or bear to look at your (literally) purple-headed monster for over a week until the swelling subsides.

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Position of the Week: The Tight Squeeze


The Tight Squeeze

How to do it: In this variation of man-on-top, she lies on her back with her legs straight up in the air, crossed at the ankle, while he kneels in front of her and drives it home.

Why it’s hot: Crossing her ankles makes for a tighter squeeze between her legs for you, while the friction against her hot spots during motion is amazing for her.

Kink it up: Do it with a mirror on the side so you can watch yourselves enjoy the action (come on, we all have a desire to be voyeurs of our own sexcapades!)

For him: To arrange the angle of penetration, hoist her butt onto a pillow or two until she’s comfortable. Hold onto her hips and legs while you pump away, kneeling in front of her, while kissing/licking her calves/ankles (surprisingly sensitive!).

For her: Have him watch you suck on his fingers as he thrusts away. Also, since your legs are going to be right up in the air, it wouldn’t be a bad thing to adorn them with some sexy shoes and/or fishnet stockings…

If you have a sexy position you want to share with us, let me know.

Have a sexy week!  See you Wednesday for my newest story.


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Top Ten Signs Your Relationship is OVER.

10. You get home and find your apartment lined with boxes of your stuff.

9. She calls to say she’s spending some time at her mother’s house… even though she once said she’d rather drink battery acid than spend another night under that woman’s tyrannical rule.

8. You call him while he’s on a trip to Amsterdam, and the naive man at the front desk says: “he just stepped out.  Would you like to speak to Mrs. Smith instead?”

7. She starts wearing much sexier clothes just to do the groceries down the street.

6. You discover a pregnancy test in the garbage… but you haven’t had sex with her since the Presidential elections.

5. You drop by his office unannounced for a surprise quickie and find his personal assistant kneeling on the floor– and she’s not picking up fallen papers.

4. You get back from work early, only to find him in your bedroom, clad in your lacy lingerie… with his “fashion consultant” waiting on your brand new Egyptian cotton sheets.

3. During a dreaded family get-together, your man’s mother reproaches you about taking an exercise class that involves a stripper pole because it’s demeaning to women… as is dressing like one.

2. Out of the blue, he suddenly decides it’s time for him to “discover” himself, quits his fantastic job to go backpacking around the world, and relays the information via text message.

1. At 3 o’clock in the morning, you wake up to the sound of moaning.  Upon discovering she’s not beside you in bed, you find her in the office in front of your webcam, trading naked correspondences with Sven from Germany, whose monstrous frankfurter is enlarged on the glowing screen.

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Position of the Week: the Jigsaw Sidestraddle

Welcome back to the newest installment of the Position of the Week!
Be prepared to implement this move– it’s a hot way to sexperiment while increasing your intimacy.

The Jigsaw Sidestraddle

How to do it: As she lies on her side facing you, straddle her bottom leg while she places her top leg around your waist.  You should be completely intertwined, fitting together like two puzzle pieces.

Why it’s awesome: The friction of your bodies being so closely pressed together feels fantastic– especially for her.  He can grab onto her ass as he thrusts.  For a tighter squeeze, have her clench her outside thigh against your hips.  For deeper access, he can raise your leg up higher.  (If you’re a very flexible diva, you can bring your leg up towards your shoulder.)

How to kink it up:

If your partner is game, this position if great to experiment with some rear-entry action.  DO ask first to ensure they are comfortable, otherwise the moment could get very awkward!  Lube up your fingers and start just by rubbing the rim of the butt hole.  If this elicits a good reaction, start to insert one digit inside, slowly.  Add fingers/increase depth as desired.  (Wash up well after!)


For the men: Instead of conventional in-and-out thrusting, you can try to slowly swivel your hips in circles, grinding against her clit and rubbing her G-spot just the right way.

For the ladies: Reach around behind his balls (you can grab/rub/tug those too) and rub his perineum in a circular motion or just tapping it in rhythm with his thrusts.

Be sure to add this one to your TO-DO list!

If you have a position you’d like to share with everyone, let me know.

Have a sexy week, and see you Wednesday for another erotic short story!


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Position of the Week: Reverse Cowgirl

Welcome, Lexual people!  Today I offer you a classic sex position you can work into your routine if you don’t already!

The Reverse Cowgirl

This sexy version of girl-on-top-meets-doggy-style gives him a great view of your rear assets as you ride him backward.

As most of us know, men are very visually stimulated. Whether he’s sitting up against the headboard, couch or car seat, or just lying down, he gets to watch your backside (which he finds sexy, even if you don’t) as well as all the in-and-out action going on.  Plus, while you’re grinding and swiveling your hips or bouncing up and down, he can reach around and massage your clitoris (if you’re not doing it yourself already), and let his hands freely roam over your breasts.  This also gives you easy access to reach his package and give him a gentle tug every now and then.

To up the kink a bit more, you can opt to do this in front of a mirror, so he can see ALL of the goods, plus you can see the ecstatic expression on his face (super gratifying!).  Or start off with a sexy striptease, leading to your XXX-rated lap dance.  It’s fun for everyone, and perfect if you’re looking to turn up the heat a few notches.

See you Wednesday with my next story ready for you!

If you have a great sex move/position, and want to showcase it in another Position of the Week, I’d love to hear it.


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Top 10 Worst Ways to Get Caught Fornicating

1. While you’re testing out your new sex swing with your partner, your parents decide it’s time to pop in for a visit, without calling or knocking first.
2. At 5 a.m., while you’re drunk and having sex on your neighbor’s brand-new lawn furniture.
3. When you and a co-worker are bored working the graveyard shift, you start having sex and your boss walks in, finding your bare ass perched on the food prep counter.
4. Having sex in the garage, when your partner’s father decides to come home early from work and discovers you doing it doggy-style on his prized workstation, between the toolbox and his collection of Bob Vila instructional videos.
5. At a family reunion, you decide to escape your crazy relatives by dragging your beau to get frisky.  You’re in the throes of ecstasy when your little cousin, lost from playing hide and seek, pops out of the closet, sees you, screams, and runs downstairs to tell everyone what he saw.
6. Hiking on an abandoned trail with your partner, you start to get vertical against a tree when a group of Boy Scouts, looking to make camp, catch you looking like a deer caught in headlights.
7.  In the “abandoned” basement annex at the library, when your professor finds you doing naked interpretive dance with his teaching assistant, on the eve before the exam.
8. After your apartment elevator gets stuck, and you start having sex with your hot neighbor, and the fire department starts pulling apart the doors.
9. In the back of a darkened movie theater, when the action flick goes dead silent, and all anyone can hear is “I’m going to come, you dirty boy!”
10. By the cops, who suddenly catch you at night in the park, dangling from the monkey bars with your pants around your ankles and your partner’s mouth attached to your genitalia, their flashlights beaming on your privates for what seems like eternity.

Every Friday, a NEW Top  Ten!!

What Top Ten lists do YOU want to see?
Send me your thoughts/ideas, and I’ll make it happen.

Enjoy your weekend, stay tuned Sunday for the debut of Position of the Week!!!!

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