Welcome back to my playground, Lexual people.
Thank you for supporting me throughout this year! 2019 will be bringing a lot of opportunity for me to show you even more of my appreciation. Big news coming soon to my podcast, blog and social media – so stay tuned, my friends and fiends.
For now, I’m sharing my last Top 10 list of 2018 with you. Make these resolutions part of your list when you’re thinking of ways to improve your life – and your sex life- this coming year.
10. Seduce yourself
Make yourself feel sexy and constantly remind yourself that you’re desirable and you deserve to be desired. That confidence will spill over into all the other areas of your life.
Wear sexy lingerie under your work clothes, even if you’re the only one who knows they’re there. Masturbate whenever the hell you want. Read an erotic novel and imagine you’re the main character, getting all the sexual attention you can handle.
By emitting your sexual energy out to the world, you will be surprised at the positive energy you can receive back, and how much more confident you’ll feel.
9. Explore your sexual horizons
I’m not SAYING to go from monogamous twosome to orgygoers overnight, or anything. But try opening your mind to erotic possibilities beyond your comfort zone.
Even if you don’t do anything, being surrounded by sexy people in a kinky environment can spark a lot of things, especially your imagination. Whether you’re flying solo or in the company of your partner, an erotic party is a great way to meet like-minded, open-minded individuals, and maybe see new things – like people having sex in front of you. You don’t have to participate, but being a voyeur can certainly be an aphrodisiac. Who knows what erotic worlds you’ll open up…
And if you’re a frequent partygoer at these erotic events, try a special theme night that takes you a little bit out of your comfort zone, to introduce a kinky aspect to your night.
8. Treat yourself to sexy lingerie
As Casey Carter and I talk about in our podcast on Creative Sex, you don’t need to get lingerie for your partner – it’s all about YOU!
Getting some sexy and slinky new lingerie can help you feel more confident and sexy. Whether you choose to let your partner see you in your new getup is entirely up to you.
7. Try a new sex position
This resolution is easy to achieve, and fun for you and your partner to experiment with together.
Adding novelty to your repertoire will stimulate your senses in a different way and add a new dimension to your sexual dynamic.
6. Be spontaneous
Having sex in the bedroom can get boring – FAST.
Spark some inspiration with some foreplay in a sexy new locale, the car, a movie theater, the bathroom at a bar… wherever, really.
The thrill you’ll feel as you experience foreplay or sex in a risqué new place will give you both an adrenaline rush to fuel the fire in your sexcapades.
You can even try this out discreetly by wearing a remote-control sex toy while you’re out on a date, and giving your partner the control. My personal favorite toy for doing this is the wearable We-Vibe Jive.
No matter where you go, you’ll both feel sexier for having tried something new together.
5. Add a new sex toy to the mix
If your sex games are getting a bit stale, whether solo or otherwise, time to try a new toy!
How adventurous do you want to be? Which part of your body or your partner’s do you want to stimulate? Want to try a little BDSM?
The choice is ALL yours.
Now go back to #10 on this list (Seduce yourself), rinse and repeat.
4. Try out a new fantasy
Curious about getting tied up and blindfolded? Thinking of dressing up and trying out some role play with your partner?
The first step is communicating with your partner when you’re out of the bedroom. This gives you time for you and your partner to talk about your fantasy and how you’d go about it or prepare whatever toys or scenario you might need for your new sexual forays.
Or, to break the ice, try dropping some hints first. You could watch some porn together, listen to one of my podcasts, or read an excerpt from an erotic novel out loud to him that express the fantasy or kink you have in mind, then ask your partner what they think about it.
If you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, chances are you forgot how to flirt.
Flirting creates a sense of newness, makes your pulse race, and makes you feel sexy.
When you’re in public, come up to your partner and pretend you’re meeting them for the first time.
Compliment them on what they’re wearing. Remind them how sexy they are. Reminisce about a time you had together that was extremely hot.
Single? Flirt with the hot guy who serves you coffee at the local shop. Flirt with the cute chick at the bookstore.
Chances are, you’ll feel better, sexier, and get a rush of adrenaline and endorphins.
2. Change up your bedroom decor
Getting new sheets and/or bedcovers can really make a difference.
If you can afford it, go a bit more luxe and opt for sheets with a higher thread count, something that feels soft and sensual against your skin.
Just changing up your bed – which is (usually) where you wake up, fall asleep, have sex, masturbate, watch Netflix, text, peruse social media, talk on the phone, and do so many other things, can make you feel like you’re somewhere else, like at a fancy hotel or resort.
And when we’re on vacation, we’re feeling relaxed, refreshed, and ready for sex.
1. Shed negative sexual energy.
YOU. ARE. FUCKING. GORGEOUS. You are amazing. Your body is incredible.
If your New Year’s goals include making important life changes that are good for your health, that’s fantastic.
But don’t forget that confidence is within you! And confidence is the SEXIEST thing you can wear.
Self conscious about the way you taste? Don’t let your partner go down on you enough? Don’t want to have sex in certain positions because you’re worried about the way you look at certain angles? Can’t have sex with the light on?
Fuck that! Get rid of all of that negativity. You are sexy, and you DESERVE to be worshiped.
So LET yourself go. Let go of that negativity that’s preventing you from having mind-blowing, out-of-body-experience style ecstasy, and experience pleasure like you’ve always deserved.
What are YOUR sexy New Year’s resolutions?