Welcome back to my playground, Lexual people.
As I recover from a fun-filled and jam-packed weekend at the Sex Down South Conference in Atlanta, Georgia, I’m reflecting upon all the incredible individuals I had the pleasure to meet, and the ways in which each of them inspired me!
Thank you! I am so grateful to all of you for imparting your wisdom upon me and educating me in your own way as to how I can continue to help others live their best sex-positive lives.
Many of you know I have personally committed to raising awareness around the importance of sexual education, and making Sex Ed more comprehensive – and mandatory! For youth, I believe that sexual education should be considered by schools to be as (or more) important as math, science and language. I’ve done fundraisers with the Sexual Health Network of Quebec to propel forth that exact mission.
Sex education is ongoing – and there’s so much to learn, even as adults. That’s just one reason I’m grateful to have had an opportunity to attend such an involving and inclusive conference like Sex Down South, where I had the luxury of absorbing a plethora of info about sexuality, while making me hungry to learn even more.
It was incredibly refreshing to meet so many people who were truly sex-positive in a place where we all felt free to express ourselves, however we desired.
What is Sex Positivity?
No, you smartass, it doesn’t mean you always say yes to sex!
Sex positivity means that as long as sex is safe and consensual between the individuals involved, you should feel free to enjoy yourself any way you choose!
To paraphrase Sara Connell, host of the Queer Sex Ed podcast, being sex-positive means respecting other people’s choices about their body and their identity. As long as it’s consensual, there is no right or wrong gender identity or expression, sexual orientation, relationship structure, or kink.
What feels right for one person may not feel right for you – but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong!
It’s also important to acknowledge that gender and sexuality are fluid, and your feelings, choices, orientation, desires, and preferences can change throughout your life. And that’s okay!
We all have an equal right to pleasure!
[Note: I’m going to go deeper about this in a separate blog, because there’s a whole lot more I want to say on the meaning of living a sex-positive life.]
What did I learn at SDS?
What struck me most about attending Sex Down South was the inclusiveness of attendees from a wide variety of genders, sexualities and cultural backgrounds.
Everyone was made to feel comfortable, including allowing a clothing-optional space and access to gender-neutral bathrooms.
Attending these workshops and keynote speeches moved me to the core and were yet another reminder of just how many crucial issues around sexuality are in dire need of being addressed in society.
I will talk more about each of these (and much, much more) in my upcoming podcast on SDC.com (in no particular order, and this is by no means an exhaustive list):
- The lack of an inclusive and comprehensive sexual education for youth and adults
- The normalization of gender diversity and sexual diversity
- Teaching parents how to talk to their children about sexuality
- The meaning of consent
- Sexual abuse and violence, and the abuse of power
- Coping with sexual trauma
- The de-stigmatization of sex work and sex workers
- Cultural differences in sexuality
- Equal access to sexual health resources
- Sexuality and disability
- Guilt and shame around sexuality
And much, much more…
How can I educate others?
As I said in the workshop hosted by Devan Dunson (co-director of Black Men Smile):
I proclaim that I will strive to empower people to consensually enjoy and express their sexuality – whatever that may be and however they choose to do so – without shame, guilt, fear or judgment.
With such a broad scope of topics about sexuality, I aim to do my part to create a safe space and help educate people through my blog, by providing information and reliable resources you can which will provide you with more in-depth learning and understanding.
What can YOU do to be more sex-positive?
Start by being respectful, keeping an open mind and be willing to learn from others!
Know that we all have a right to live, a right to experience pleasure, and be who we are. Even if other people may have a different way of feeling and expressing themselves, it’s not wrong – and it’s not for you to judge. Live and let live!
Enjoy your sexuality (safely and consensually, of course), and let others choose how they want to enjoy theirs and do whatever makes them feel comfortable in their skin!
I’ll be talking much more about sexuality and how to live a shame-free sex-positive life in my upcoming podcast with SDC.com, called Seek, Discover, Create with Lexi Sylver! Coming soon to Voice America and The Sexy Lifestyle Network!
All the details will be released in the next few weeks, so you’ll know when and where to tune in!