Sex Advice, Sex Education, Sex Positions, Updates

How to Create Your Signature Sex Move

February 27, 2019
How To Create Your Signature Sex Move Lexi Sylver

Welcome back to my playground, fiends and friends.

If you’re here, you’re probably interested in sex and making your sex life more spicy and kinky. And you’re in the right place, you sexy devil, you.

Whether you’re on the prowl or in a devoted relationship, you know it takes a lot to earn a reputation of being a great lover.

You may think you’re talented in bed, but how memorable are you really?

A signature sex move (or several) will keep your partners coming back for more and solidify your status as a sex god or goddess.

Here’s how to get one step closer to getting a bronze statue of you erected in your honor.

You don’t need to reinvent the wheel.

When it comes to sex, there are infinite possibilities for pleasure – the combinations of moves you can try to bring your partner to climax are endless.

Your signature move isn’t necessarily going to be a complex choreography that you have to memorize. It should feel like it comes naturally (puns intended) from a move you already know how to do.

It can be as simple as swirling your tongue in a particular direction during oral sex, making a woman squirt while fingering her in a special way, deep throating a dick, doing a special shimmy during reverse cowgirl, et cetera, et cetera.

If you already have a tried-and-true sex move that drives your lovers wild, it’s time to perfect it. 

Remember: every body is different.

No two bodies operate exactly the same way. Just because your move makes one partner scream with pleasure does not necessarily mean that all your partners are going to love your move.

What truly makes a great lover is the understanding that every body reacts differently, and even one body can have their own sensitivity, tolerance and even mood (at times they may desire a rougher touch, and others when a softer style is craved).  Spontaneity and creativity are key when you adapt your signature sex move to your lover and find the right rhythm for the moment.

If you learn a move with one partner and perfect it with them, and then try it with other people and it’s not working, try to adapt your move to different partners, based on their body language, their communication and the way they react to your touch. Maybe the same move will work with them but at a different pace or angle. If not, then it’s time to try honing a new sex skill.

Take a page out of your sexual history book.

Over the time you’ve been sexually active, is there anything you did that really stood out to your partners?

If you can, and you’re still on good terms, ask your previous lovers what you’ve done sexually that they enjoyed the most.

If they can’t think of anything specific, don’t despair. It just means you have a little bit more work to discover your signature sex move.

Listen to your partner.

Time to get creative! By experimenting with new things on your partner(s) and trying new combinations of things, you can discover what makes them just moan a little, moan a lot, or scream your name in ecstasy.

Register what makes your lover tremble.  Spend some time testing and fine-tuning your move until it gets positive results in bed, every time.  Try to do it without them knowing they’re being watched for their every reaction, or else they’ll feel pressured and bias your results.  Even if your partner wants to be your test bunny, you’ll lose the element of surprise when you try to give them a sex-induced out-of-body experience. 

And talk to your partner! After your play session, ask them what they liked, what you could maybe do differently. And put their feedback into action next time.

Once you find the things that give your partner the most pleasure, that make them say “oh my GOD what was that amazing thing you did with your tongue?!” –then you’ve probably found your move.

Practice makes perfect.

Stroke, rub, thrust, repeat. Repeat. Repeat. And repeat some more.

Alternate speeds, angles and directions. The slightest change in any of these can create a totally different experience.  Your one constant must be your complete attention on your lover’s physical and verbal reactions – every muscle clench, groaning, hair-pulling, hip lifting, etc.  Once you learn to read their body language, you can tweak your move, and tabulate the results. Were some of your variations more popular or earth-shattering than others?

Keep refining your move until you can do it in your sleep.

Keep it fresh.

Once you find your move, keep what’s consistent as a basis to add in your repertoire, and switch up the other variables from time to time to keep you – and your move – fresh.  Your lover’s body is definitely not immune to the effects of habituation as they get used to your handiwork. Over time, the novelty can wear off.

Wrapping up…

Experimenting with different sex moves and trying to pleasure your partner is a wondrous thing.  Perfecting a sex move that, 99% of the time, it works every time, will earn you a positive reputation and solidify your status as a sex god or goddess. Stick to that main rule and you’ll be able to navigate any southern border crossing.

Want to know more about becoming a devil in the sack?
Find me on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

Until next time, Stay Lexual, people.


Lexi Sylver Sex Toys Shop

Lexi Sylver

Lexi Sylver is the Montreal-based erotica author of Mating Season and All the Queen’s Men. She enjoys having a kinky and unconventional lifestyle and sharing her stories and experiences with others. Lexi hosts and produces’s sexuality podcast, Seek, Discover, Create with Lexi Sylver. As an entrepreneur, advocate, educator, public speaker and coach for consensual non-monogamy and the swinging lifestyle, she journeys the world to attend travel events and conferences. She regularly contributes articles about sexuality and relationships to Pornhub’s Sexual Wellness Center, ASN Lifestyle Magazine, and her personal blog. As the Media Director for, the world’s largest adult sex education and swingers dating platform, Lexi collaborates with sexuality, health and relationship experts to provide reliable resources for those who seek it. In her work as an advocate, educator and coach for consensual non-monogamy and the swinging lifestyle, she travels frequently to conferences and speaks publicly at events like The Montreal Taboo Sex Show (Le Salon de l’Amour et de la Séduction). Lexi wrote and creatively produced many movies, series and scenes in the adult entertainment industry and was nominated in 2017 for an AVN award for Best Screenplay. She is a published erotic author with her new book, a collection of erotic short stories called Mating Season, now available. Her mission is to promote empowerment and education by guiding you to shamelessly explore your Lexuality!

Leave a comment

Tickets for Lexi Sylver Mating Season Anniversary Party
Lexi Sylver's Swinging 101 Series